My Butterfly Read online

  “We’ll find it,” I reassured her.

  I eventually planted my feet in front of the ball and acted as if I hadn’t seen it.

  “Hey, why don’t you go look out in the hallway, in case it bounced out there or something,” I said. “I’ll look for it under these bleachers.”

  She looked my way with a disheveled face, almost as if she had just noticed that I was still there. But then, without a word, she sauntered off into the hallway. I watched her disappear behind the glass-paned doors, and then I quickly reached for the volleyball and scooped it up. I turned it over. It was her ball all right. Her name was etched in its stretched material in black, permanent marker, right above her volleyball number. I spun it around in my hands as my eyes darted toward the glass-paned doors again. Then, my mind in auto pilot, I scanned the room, thinking. I saw bleachers, some exercise machines and a couple of wooden blocks—none of which would work. I let my head fall back in desperation. And then I saw it—the rafters high above me. There was already a ball stuck up there, and this one would give it some company. I took the volleyball in one hand and arched it behind my head. Then, I lobbed it up into the air. It hit a beam in the rafters and came colliding back to the hardwood floor. The ball bounced only once before I scurried over to it, scooped it up and glanced again toward the doors. There was still no sign of her. I retook my place and tried it once more. This time, the ball hit the inside of one of the beams, slightly knocked the other ball and then wedged itself in between the ball already there and the beam. Success.

  “Will,” a voice suddenly called out from behind me, causing my body to stiffen.

  I turned quickly on my heels to Rachel standing there, staring at me. She had a questioning look plastered across her face, and I couldn’t tell what she was questioning exactly—why I was throwing a ball into the rafters or why I was standing there alone staring at the rafters. What had she seen?

  “Hi, Rach,” I stuttered.

  She squinted her eyes, as if she were shaking off a thought.

  “Have you seen Julia?” she eventually asked.

  I thought about her question for a second. If Rachel were to find Julia, she might tell Jules what I had just done—if she had, in fact, seen what I had just done—and then I’d be busted. Or she could end up chauffeuring Jules off somewhere to look at shoes or a furry caterpillar or something until Julia forgot about her ball and had to go see Jeff. And then I would have thrown that dumb ball up in the rafters for nothing.

  “Uh-uh, nope, haven’t seen her,” I said, being careful not to look her in the eyes until after I was done lying.

  She stared at me with a suspicious glare.

  “O-kay,” she said, her eyes burning a hole straight through my forehead. “Well, if you do, tell her I’m looking for her.”

  “Will do,” I said.

  Then, I smiled at her and casually strolled back toward the stage.

  When I reached the base of the stage, I turned and glanced back at the doorway that Rachel had just been standing in, staring at me with her cat eyes. She was gone. I let out a sigh of relief.

  “It’s not out there either,” I heard Julia say.

  I quickly turned my attention to the other side of the gym.

  “Here,” I said, holding out my phone. “Call Jeff. Tell him that you can’t help him tonight, and we’ll search the whole school for your ball. The first forty-eight hours are the most critical.”

  She gave me a wary look. Then, she glanced at the phone and then back up at me. She was clearly agitated. But I couldn’t tell if it was because of me or because of the fact that she couldn’t find her ball. She had better not be upset that she couldn’t help Jeff. That little…

  She snatched the phone out of my hand.

  “Number four,” I said.

  “What?” she asked.

  “He’s number four on speed dial,” I said.

  She pressed a key and then brought the phone to her ear. After a couple of rings, I heard Jeff pick up. He loudly called her a toolbag, and I cringed.

  Julia glanced up at me and rolled her eyes.

  “Jeff,” she said. “This is Julia.”

  I heard Jeff verbally recoil and apologetically take back his greeting.

  “It’s fine,” she said, smiling. “Jeff, I’m calling because I can’t make it tonight. The test isn’t for a couple of weeks. Can we maybe get together sometime later this week?”

  I heard his voice through the phone’s speakers when she finished talking, but I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying.

  “No, I’m up at school,” she said. “I borrowed Will’s phone.”

  Her explanation made me smile. I quickly cleared my throat and wiped the smirk off my face.

  She ended the call a moment later and handed the phone back to me.

  “Thanks,” she said. “You’ll help me look for it?”

  Ugh, her eyes were doing this soft pleading thing, and it was taking everything in me not to pull her close.

  “Of course,” I managed to say without sounding too eager. “It would be my pleasure.”

  ...

  “It’s not back here,” I heard her say.

  I could hear the frustration in her voice.

  “No one would take it, right?” she asked.

  “No, no one would take it,” I said. “It’s here somewhere. Let’s go look down the hall. Maybe it rolled down there or something.”

  I watched her take a deep breath and then sigh.

  “Okay,” she eventually agreed.

  I smiled and waited until she was by my side to start toward the hallway and to ask her my question.

  She eventually caught up, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to ask.

  “So, what’s your answer?” I blurted out.

  My words had come out kind of sheepish. I cleared my throat and concentrated on producing something in a lower octave and a little less Bo Peep.

  “What answer?” she quipped back.

  “The note I gave you before history class,” I said, hoping it would jog her memory.

  “Aah,” she said, smiling. “That answer.”

  I watched her peek under a table near the office and then keep walking.

  “Well?” I asked again.

  She stopped and squared up to me. She looked as if she were really thinking hard about it.

  “No,” she finally said and then started walking again.

  I hesitated for a second but then caught back up to her.

  “Now, have you really thought this through?” I asked her. “You can take some time if you need it. Tell me tomorrow or the next day or the next day or any day when the answer is yes.”

  “I don’t need time,” she said.

  I stopped and smiled.

  “You do realize it’s only a date?” I asked. “If you said yes, you wouldn’t be locked into anything.”

  She turned her face up at me and smiled.

  “It’s not so easy hearing no, is it?” she asked.

  I paused and tried to hold back my grin.

  “Julia, Jules,” I said, as if I were a used-car salesman. “Jules, look, no rocks this time,” I said, showing her my open palms and then the inside of my jeans pockets. “No big, rubber balls. I’ll even let you drive my truck.”

  I held out my keys.

  She looked at me sideways and sympathetically smiled, as if I were the weird kid who was completely oblivious to his social status.

  My own smile grew, and I took her silent cue, as I watched her sympathetic grin fade into her new smile—the one that I already loved. I remembered it being that cute, girly kind of smile—that smile that made you wonder why you despised girls so much just the year before. But now, it was sexy too. It was girly and sexy, all at the same time. Damn it, she was too darn cute not to smile back at her, even when she was saying no. And maybe it wouldn’t be now, but I would eventually wear her down. Everyone has a breaking point. Retreat. Replenish. Conquer. I smiled wider.

  “S
o, Ben’s having a bonfire next weekend,” I said.

  “So I’ve heard,” she said.

  She smiled politely this time.

  “You going?” I asked.

  “If Rachel has anything to do with it, we’ll be there early,” she replied.

  “Good,” I said, nodding my head.

  Suddenly, she stopped and peeked her head into a classroom.

  “Coach Hill, you didn’t see any volleyballs lying around after P.E., did you?” she asked him.

  My eyes instinctively fell to the floor at my feet.

  “Okay, thanks,” she said and then continued her hike down the narrow hallway.

  “No luck?” I asked her.

  “He didn’t see any,” she replied.

  “Don’t worry, we’ll find it,” I said.

  We made our way down the rest of the hall and then outside toward the school’s only other hallway. I held the door for her as she walked in.

  “So, you and Rachel are friends?” I asked her.

  I watched her as she peered into the band room, littered with instrument cases, chairs and stands.

  “Yeah,” she said, without looking up. “She’s pretty cool.”

  “Yeah, she’s all right,” I said. “She talks a lot, but she’s all right.”

  “You’ve known her for awhile?” she asked.

  Her thin frame was still preoccupied with the search, and every once in a while I would act as if I were looking under or around something.

  “Yeah,” I said. “All of us townies pretty much grew up together. Rachel was my neighbor when we were kids, until she moved to a house right outside of town. I’m sure it was kind of the same for you guys, right?”

  I picked up a chair and looked under it.

  “Us country folk, you mean?” she asked, pausing to look up at me.

  She sounded as if she were trying to act offended, but I could tell it really didn’t bother her.

  “Julia, my dear, I know that toy tractor in front of my grandpa’s store wasn’t the last tractor you’ve driven,” I said, with a boyish smirk smeared across my face.

  She stopped what she was doing and looked me square in the eyes. She was wearing a half-smile, but I didn’t so much see the smile, and the other half scared me.

  “Don’t call me dear,” she said. “And you’re right, turns out I found some much bigger tractors to play with. I didn’t need yours after all.”

  She smiled, and then her dagger eyes fell from mine. I let out a happy sigh and followed her back into the gym again.

  “I just don’t understand where it could have gone,” she said, dramatically throwing her hands into the air.

  I silently prayed that she wouldn’t look up.

  “Hey,” I said, stopping in front of her.

  I took a chance that she wouldn’t punch me, and I grabbed her small hips and hoisted her up onto the stage.

  “Look, it’s late,” I said, looking at the imaginary watch on my wrist and positioning my body so that it was square with hers and touching her legs.

  She looked a little thrown off, but she didn’t protest.

  “We’ll look for it again tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, if we have to,” I said. “And we’ll keep looking for it, until it turns up.”

  Her eyes fell to her lap. She looked defeated. And I wasn’t sure if she even noticed that I was touching her.

  I dramatically sucked in a big breath of air. Then, I brought the back of my hand to her chin and gently lifted it until her eyes were in mine.

  “We’ll find it,” I said.

  She smiled a pouty smile.

  Damn it. I loved that smile too.

  “It’s just my favorite,” she said. “I bought it with my babysitting money. I’ve had it for a long time.”

  Ugh. For the first time, I started to feel bad about hiding it from her. I paused, while the words, Let’s look for it in the rafters, fumbled around on my tongue.

  But quickly, there was a second thought. That precious ball of hers could buy me some precious time with her. Time, I quickly and easily decided; I wanted time.

  “I’m sure it’s in a safe place,” I reassured her.

  She half-heartedly smiled.

  “Thanks for helping me look for it,” she said, meeting my gaze.

  My eyes immediately turned guilty, and I quickly tossed them to the floor before she could read them.

  She sighed, and then I looked up again.

  “In the meantime, are you hungry?” I asked.

  Her green, suspicious eyes were on me fast.

  “I was thinking maybe we should grab some dinner at Donna’s,” I continued.

  “Will Stephens,” she scolded and pushed past me, jumping off of the stage and landing with both feet onto the wooden gym floor.

  “Nice try, but I’ve got to get home,” she said, grabbing her duffle bag.

  “Maybe tomorrow then?” I called out after her as she made her way toward the glowing exit sign.

  “Bye, Will,” she said, glancing back one, last time and sending a confident smile my way.

  I smiled, then shoved my hands into my pockets and watched her walk away until her thin frame disappeared into the hallway. When she was gone, I sighed, shut my eyelids over my eyes and allowed my head to fall back. A second later, I forced my eyes open, and then gradually, I felt a grin returning to my face because high up in the ceiling was her little, white volleyball.

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s in a safe place,” I mumbled, chuckling to myself.

  Then, I lowered my head and started my own journey toward the glowing, red exit sign.

  Chapter ThreeCaught

  “I don’t know, Jules,” I said, tossing a tennis ball into the air and catching it. “We might be searching for this volleyball for the rest of our days.”

  She turned her face toward mine. Her blond hair was in a ponytail and was spread every which way over a straw bale left over from archery class. I had constructed us a pretty nice lounging bench using the bales, and now we were each lying against a home-made straw pillow. She was squinting. The sun was in her eyes, and her big eyelashes looked as if they were trying to shoo away its rays.

  “I’m sure it’s somewhere safe,” she said and then turned her head again so that it was out of the direct path of the sun’s rays.

  I lifted my head off the straw bale.

  “You don’t seem that worried about it anymore,” I said.

  “Hmm?” she asked, as she turned her face back toward mine and used her hand to shield her eyes from the sun.

  “It’s your favorite ball, right?” I asked. “You still want to find it, right?”

  “Oh, yeah, it’s not that big of a deal,” she said.

  I hesitated before I continued.

  “Well, I mean, it’s got to be around here somewhere,” I said, fearing my time with her might be coming to an end. “Maybe it’ll just take a couple more days.”

  “Uh,” she said, shrugging off my comment and turning her head again. “We don’t have to look for it anymore. It’s okay.”

  “No,” I almost shouted, sitting up.

  I paused then and took a second to regain my composure and to clear my throat.

  “Actually, you know where we haven’t checked?” I asked.

  “Hmm?” she replied, not bothering to turn her head this time.

  “The shop,” I said. “We haven’t checked the shop.”

  I watched her shrug her shoulders again.

  “I don’t think it’s in the shop,” she said.

  She was facing away from me, and her eyes were closed, so I took the opportunity to stare at her without her knowing it. And why was she acting so strange all of sudden? A few days ago, all she wanted was that dumb ball. Now, it seemed as if she could care less about it. She was a strange creature, but she sure was pretty. She was about an hour removed from volleyball practice—little, spandex shorts, cut-off tee shirt and all. Pretty.

  “You know where we ha
ven’t looked?” she asked, opening her eyes and turning her face toward mine again.

  I sat back against the straw bail, startled, hoping she hadn’t noticed me staring at her.

  “Where?” I asked.

  “The rafters…in the gym,” she said.

  My heart stumbled and then came to a complete halt for a second. Then, I watched the corners of her lips slowly start to turn up, and I couldn’t help but smile too.

  “The rafters?” I managed to get out, through my grin.

  “Mm hmm,” she said, nodding her head.

  We were both silent for a moment, each searching the other’s eyes.

  “Yeah, we could look there,” I eventually said.

  Just then, she shoved my shoulder. She shoved it hard, but it didn’t do much to move me, in the end.

  “Will Stephens,” she said, raising her voice and now standing over me.

  She was pouting, but she was smiling too—sort of.

  “I know you put it there,” she said.

  My jaw dropped open. Caught red-handed.

  “I…,” I stuttered. “How, how do you know?”

  She rested her hands on her hips.

  “Rachel told me,” she said. “She saw you do it.”

  Damn it, Rachel.

  The corners of my mouth started to turn up again. I knew they weren’t supposed to, but I couldn’t help it. She looked so darn cute. And besides, it had been worth it. That ball had given me her undivided attention for a week. As it turned out, I had grown to love that dumb ball after all.

  “Jules, I promise it wasn’t on purpose.”

  I sighed and then lowered my head. That was a lie. I couldn’t lie to her.

  “Okay,” I said. “It was on purpose, but I had to.”

  My gaze traveled back up to her face again, while she dropped her shoulders and dug her dagger eyes deeper into my forehead.

  “You knew I was looking for it,” she said. “I just don’t get why…”

  “Wait,” I interrupted her, as a smile slowly started creeping its way back to my face again. “When did Rachel tell you?”

  Rachel couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.